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Unique Gift Ideas for the 21st Century
Poor advice from a personal growth specialist
By David Leonhardt

As a personal growth specialist, I like to think I'm hip. I like
to think I am avant garde. I like to think I am on the cutting
edge - despite what everyone else around thinks about me.

I read last year that the growth sector of the future is in
healthcare and wellness. So, being the hip, avant garde, cutting
edge kind of guy I think I am, I decided I would give very unique
and personal healthcare birthday gifts.

For Aunt Marsha, I settled on a facelift. I was so excited, I
just couldn't wait to see her face. Either the old one or the
new one would do.

"What's this?"

"It's an appointment for a facelift."

"A facelift?

"Yes. Next week."

"An appointment for a facelift? Next week?"

"That's right."

"This can mean one of only two things..."

"What two things, Aunt Marsha?"

"Either you think I am uglier than a bearded manatee with blow
torch burns..."

"Oh no, Aunt Marsha. You are as beautiful as a graceful flamingo
with blow torch burns."

"...or you foresee me seeking shelter under the witness
protection program. What is it you think I saw, and who do you
think wants to do me in?"

"Well, when I was ten years old, you saw me scribble all over my
brother's baseball cards. I got in a whack of trouble, so I
suppose I could be a suspect."

"I somehow doubt I have anything to fear from you, except the
threat of receiving another gift. Just what do you think you
were thinking?"

"I know you don't need a facelift yet, Aunt Marsha. But someday
when you get all old and withered and crumbly and crinkly, a few
months from now...BANG!"

When I came to, I remembered a frying pan lunging at me to plant
a kiss on my lips.

For my buddy, I settled on a different gift, although still quite
unique and personal.

"What?!?"

"Hey, these tickets are very hard to come by. You should be
thrilled that I secured an appointment for you."

"But I don't need open heart surgery. My heart is ticking along
just fine."

"Sure it is - right now. But someday you might need open heart
surgery, so you might as well take it now and get it over with.
That way you'll have it when you need it."

"Open heart surgery isn't something you just take and save for
later. You can't place it in a box or in a safe somewhere."

"Whoa, Buddy. Cool your tonsils a moment. I considered getting
you a lobotomy, but I worried about wasting my money...you know,
in case they didn't find anything. "

Never let it be said that this personal growth specialist doesn't
learn from his success. This year I read that the entertainment
industry is the growth sector of the future. So, being the hip,
avant garde, cutting edge kind of guy I think I am, I decided I
would give hip, avant garde, cutting edge entertainment gifts.

I thought about some of my personal favorites. Unfortunately I
could not find in the Yellow Pages any singing Gumby balloon-a-
grams. I considered getting Aunt Marsha 1,000 self-destructing,
ketchup-filled pink flamingo lawn ornaments with pirate hats, but
I was not sure how to place them in the apartment corridor.
Toenail clippers always bring me hours of entertainment, but I
had no idea which of my family members have toe nails.

In the end, I settled on this column. Hey, it's humor, it's
personal growth, it's entertainment. And you have to admit that
it is unique. I printed a copy out for each of them. And guess
what? I think it was a success. Each one opened up their gift,
looked at it, looked up at me, looked back at the gift, looked
back up at me and said, "Very funny!"

If you don't want to end up like me, why not get your relatives a
dog gift or a horse-themed gift or an angel gift from Unique Gift
Ideas at: http://www.unique-gift-ideas.ws . They do NOT sell
facelifts. After all, people love unique gift ideas, but not
quite that unique.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

The author is freelance writer David Leonhardt.
Sign up for his weekly humor column up at:
http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html
Or read more personal growth columns at:
http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/self-actualization-articles.html.
Or join in the happiness at
http://www.thehappyguy.com .

ABOUT THE AUTHOR (in HTML)

The author is freelance writer David Leonhardt. Sign up for his
http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-
ezine.html">positive thinking humor column or read his href=http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/self-actualization-articles.html>
personal growth articles. Or make use of his href=http://www.TheHappyGuy.com>online happiness tools.



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David Leonhardt
The Happy Guy
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